AKH

AKH
"Maintain"

Saturday, March 10, 2012

"Prays, Journals, and Brain Doodles." by AKH.


  •  1/17/2012
       I keep busy to fight away the fear,pain, nerves, guilt and suffering.
God I'm sorry.
I know what I'm afraid of and I feel guilty for it and for wanting to quit so badly...to close my eyes and just stop being here. My children need me and I feel completely useless. I'll keep on trying to live, to maintain. AKH
  • 2/1/2012                                          
       Thank you God for a new month, for giving me the strength to keep going. Thank you for sharing wisdom with me, and for understanding that I still have so much to learn. Thank you for your kindness that keeps me going.
        Forgive me for my doubt, my fear, and my self-centered attitude. I love you Father as I love my own and pray to treat everyone with sincere kindness. Give me strength and clear mind in times of trial. Protect my family all of them.
       Grant me the peace I seek and make your will clear so I may walk your chosen path. I will listen for signs, and be patient in my confusion. AKH. Amen. 

"Excuse Me."by AKH.

                         She's upset because, her boobs are drawn way too big and after a busy day of being a sexy comic book villain her back is killing her. That's what I got out of it anyway.( 2/2012 AKH gouache, and sharpie.)

Sunday, March 4, 2012

"Why Saul Should Have Turned Around." by AKH.

    Saul on his way to Damascus was struck blind by Jesus??? or so the story goes (I haven't been in Catholic School for a while). I'd be upset to have to be blind for three days waiting around for my eyesight to return. Or would I be that upset? I wouldn't have to clean up my messy kitchen. I'd say something like, "No I'm blind, I could cut myself washing knives." which could happen because I'm clumsy.
     I wouldn't have to drive, that would be great because it's winter, my car is junkie, and the potholes in Michigan could easily eat a little Toyota in a quick bite. I do enjoy riding in the car so I would still ride as a passenger and fiddle with the radio, because I know the buttons. Maybe being blind for a bit wouldn't be such a bad thing.
     I could ignore the internet, and a phone would actually be a phone and not a mini internet of pointlessness. Quick Google sushi cat! Yes, I decided being blind seems like a great idea...only bad thing would be you're blind and eventually you're going to need to see. You're going to have to open your eyes and look around, and stop being blind. This may be difficult.
    People watching is one of my favorite things to do. I'm not trying to be creepy, but others are interesting. Most people don't notice you watching them, because most people aren't paying any attention at all to whats going on around them. It's the people that are paying attention to others that are the most interesting people to watch, and I find myself thinking, "What are they watching?"
 "So what are you watching? If you where blind for three days what would you really be missing? Would your own answer surprise you?"
    In my own attempt at blindness for the weekend I let myself ignore the phone, the computer, the car. I just closed my eyes to the world for three days. I finally got to play "Last Guy" on the PS3, which is the best game ever. I just run about saving little screaming people from cartoon looking zombie monsters...it's bliss. I got to spend time with my amazing children, who inspire me to try and at least make their world a better place, and my great guy, who just inspires. I needed a recharge, because looking and not being blind is exhausting, maybe that's why turning a blind eye is well so easy.
    So Sunday afternoon, my eyesight for the outside world returned, and well it's a bit of a downer, my email is over run with weeds and spam, and news of Syria, bad storms, and well I still have to do my taxes. The positive, I don't have to look at everything at once, and not everything is that bad looking just yet, I want to be hopeful to see good things. AKH